Humans - Top of the food chain. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If there’s one thing I can guarantee about everybody reading this, it’s that you’re all human: 

And I believe that is a cause for celebration! You could have been anything: a dragonfly, a crow, a cauliflower or a Persian carpet, but for some unexplained reason you turned out to be human.And at this point in our time on Earth I think it’s safe to say that we’ve done it. We’ve won.

Humans are the world’s greatest species. We out smart everybody else. We rule Earth!People always say it’s a dog-eat-dog world, but really it’s a humans-eat-everything-else world. We eat pigs, goats, shrimp, potatoes, cauli-flower, insects. This summer I even saw a seven-year-old eat a piece of a pool noodle.

My point is that humans run this planet and I think it’s time we start giving ourselves more credit. When was the last time you congratulated yourself after singing along to your favourite song? That may not seem worthy of praise, but it is surely something that literally no other species on our planet can do.Scientists estimate that there are more than eight million different species on Earth. Going off of those numbers, being the best species is equivalent to being the best person in all of Switzerland. And lots of cool people live in Switzerland! I don’t even have to tell you about all of the coolest Swiss people because you’re human and more than capable of looking random information like that up on that awesome Internet thing only humans understand.

The Pretoria Girls primary recently announced funding towards a new antimatter curriculum for Primary school students in Grades 1-4. the Principal believes that antimatter will be a helpful educational tool for the school’s youngest minds.“Understanding how antimatter works will help advance our students’ education,” Rowena Sheik said. “Getting them familiar with the substance at this age will certainly help them in the future.”Antimatter is identical to known matter but with an opposite charge. When it comes into contact with ordinary matter, they explode into a burst of energy that is more powerful than any substance produced on earth.

We string together a theory that matter is the opposite of antimatter with this propulsion system.

The Elementary school has purchased six, 27 miles long particle accelerators, and will be opening a new particle accelerator lab to give their students first-hand knowledge on how to produce antimatter. The accelerators cost an estimated $20 million each, but Sheik believes that is a small price to pay for the experience that her students will gain. “Our students are being offered an education that would be unavailable to them at any other school,” she said. By the end of the school year, the class is expected to have produced enough antimatter to completely wipe the country of Portugal from the face of the earth. But some parents are concerned about the new education their kids will be getting.Ken van der Walt has twin girls in Grade 2 and believes they should be learning addition instead of antimatter. “I feel like it might just be too difficult of a concept for them to grasp at this age,” van der Walt said.

Sheik, however, said that this new curriculum will lead students towards brighter futures.

“At the end of the day, if you can understand antimatter and string theory, there probably isn’t much that you can’t understand,” she said.

Asian fusion fried rice dish

Some people think that an alien race will one day come to Earth and take our place as ruler. But that is just some classic human self-deprecation. If there really are life forms on other distant planets, why are we so sure that they’d be able to take us over? Humans are so impressive, that the only species capable of destroying us is other humans, and so far we’ve been smart enough not to do that!We need to acknowledge our dominance atop the chain of being. And if any species wants to question our reign, we’ll chop them up and put them in an Asian fusion fried rice dish. Yummy!So get back out on that stage humans. Everyone is clapping for you. They want an encore, and you’re the only ones capable of giving it to them.